Leaving the Harbour
The sun is shining today. Truly shining. And with it, a long-awaited break has arrived.
Leaving the school always feels strange. I didn’t expect it to become a place of safety, but it has. Somewhere I feel comfortable, accepted, quietly held. A place that asks me to work harder, to be better, to solve what needs solving without drama.
To say it feels like home is too simple. It was more like a harbour — somewhere I could ride out the storms without being asked to explain myself. Somewhere I could live plainly, move my body, and let things settle.
I’m a man doing things that make sense to me. Things that feel honest. I’ve never had much interest in becoming whatever the moment demands men should be. Not out of fear or resistance — just preference. I’d rather move in my own direction, quietly.
I’ve never needed the crowd, nor the performance of standing apart from it. I stay in my lane. I let opinions pass. They change too quickly to be worth carrying.
Waiting used to feel unbearable. Airports. Deadlines. Always rushing toward somewhere that felt better than where I was. Now I wait differently. Not restless. Not searching. Just present with whatever passes through the mind.
That change still surprises me.
From the outside, this life might look strange — especially to those who knew me before. To me, it feels oddly familiar. Like returning to a place I once knew well, then misplaced for a while.
Balance was always the missing piece. Not conflict, not rebellion — just balance. I didn’t want the fight. I only wanted space to breathe.
Bali taught me that lesson the hard way. Not because of the place, but because of the choices I made there. The people I stayed around. The stories I accepted for too long. I lost sight of myself without realising it.
I don’t dwell on it much now. Regret doesn’t add anything. What matters is that it led me here.
This break feels like a pause between chapters. Not an ending. Not a conclusion. Just a moment to step away, look back without attachment, and then forward without urgency.
The sun is still shining.
I’m leaving the harbour.
The water looks calm enough for now.