Back Inside the Rhythm

I’ve been back at the school for a few days now, and the truth is it feels good to be here. It feels like home.

I know how strange that sounds — living in temporary accommodation in the middle of China, studying Kung Fu — but it’s still true. When I was away, things felt slightly off. Not wrong. Just misaligned. Not how I want to live, not how I want to move through my days.

Everything out there seemed faster. Quieter moments were quickly filled. Silence treated like something to avoid rather than sit with. It’s not impossible to think in that world, but it takes effort — the current is always pulling toward familiar noise.

Here, I’ve grown used to space. To being alone without feeling isolated. To having time to think, to check in, to notice where I am — and where I’m not.

It isn’t dramatic. It doesn’t feel like a revelation. Just a steady recognition that after a long stretch of searching, I’ve landed somewhere that suits me.

But this place isn’t really a place. It’s internal. An awareness that allows me to slow down, to stop scanning for what’s wrong, and to look more carefully at what’s already present. The answers don’t announce themselves. They sit just beneath the distractions, waiting for attention.

Life feels simple here. Opportunities exist, though they’re still partially obscured by fear. That hasn’t disappeared. It probably won’t. But each time I notice it, it loses a little of its grip.

The vision sharpens.
The momentum steadies.

I’m moving through an internal journey in a world that keeps asking for outward expression. The contrast is still there. I don’t try to resolve it.

For now, I just stay with it.