Chasing Your Own Tail

Today may have been one of the hardest days I've had in the last two years, and not for the usual reason. It had nothing to do with training. It came from a day spent filming.

I've spent a lifetime working professionally on film sets across the world, and yet, standing on the set of our own project today, almost none of that experience seemed to count for much. I know things have changed, and the industry moves differently now, but I still believe good work comes from systems built well ahead of time, structures that give you room for real, focused freedom exactly when it matters most.

Pre-production is never the exciting part of making something. But skip it, and there's no foundation left to build on, just days spent chasing your own tail, or chasing trends that will feel dated the moment they've passed. Not a great way to build a brand meant to last.

I understand tastes differ, and everyone's allowed their own instincts. But chasing whatever's popular, backed by planning nobody committed to properly, only ever produces work that shows the seams. That's not opinion. That's just how it tends to go.

So, a small crew, everyone wanting to be heard, decisions made on the fly, by the end of it, I was exhausted, underwhelmed, and a little frustrated underneath it all. The moment the shoot wrapped, I couldn't get back to school fast enough, just to spend a few hours in practice instead.

It was such a relief to step out of my own head and get lost in something purely physical, something I genuinely love. Time passed without any friction at all, just a simple string of movements, held together by a feeling I still can't quite name. This practice, like most things I care about, is part discipline and part faith, never a fixed destination that only lets you see it from one angle.

It was a harder day than I expected, and maybe that was the real issue. My expectations, even tempered as I thought they were, still ran ahead of what was practically possible for everyone else involved. I'd like to believe I can steer this whole project toward something genuinely timeless. At this stage, I honestly don't know if that's within reach.

Time will tell.